Am I Really There for Others?
This morning I fell... and it hurt! But, as it goes, everything is a teacher and this moment was no exception.
Let me start from the beginning. It's a late July morning and if you live in the southern United States, you know that this means it is HOT. This morning however, had a nice breeze so I decided to go out for a run. Off I went. The morning was beautiful, the birds were singing, and the streets were pretty quiet. And then as I turned the corner to proceed down the next street my foot hit a clump of gooey mud and splat...down I went. As I pulled my face from the cement and begin to assess the damage, I noticed one...no two...no three cars drive by and look at me. I continued to check for blood. And there was quite a bit on my hands and knees. I tried to pull myself over to the curb, get up and begin to shake it off. And then it hit me..not one of these people stopped to ask if I was ok, to see if they could help, to offer me a phone, nothing. As I walked down the road I began to wonder why. Had they thought I was ok? How did they know this? Had they thought I'd be embarrassed if they called attention to my situation? Were they in a hurry and decide they just didn't have time to stop? I wasn't mad and I was okay, but it really got me thinking....
How often am I really there for others? How often have I passed someone in a precarious situation and thought "oh, they're fine" or "oh, how sad", and yet did nothing? How often have I been lost in my own thoughts so deeply I have failed to see the distress in someone else's eyes. I began to really think about this. How many homeless people have I just passed over without even a heart felt acknowledgment of their existence? How many neighbors may have needed something but I was too busy, too lost in thought to offer eye contact or a friendly hello, a word that might open the space for them to ask for help?
These reflections and these questions are why I find the practice of lovingkindness meditation so important to my life. Spending some time each day focusing on my own heart and intentionally relaxing and opening to the world as it is, allows me to see what is really in front of me, what is beside me, and what is all around me. As I open my heart, I offer these phrases:
May we all be safe from inner and outer harm
May we all be peaceful and happy
May we all be strong and healthy
May we all live with ease
And, may we all be free of suffering
Practicing lovingkindness allows us to see all human beings as valuable, worthy, and equal to ourselves. We begin to see how we are all in this thing called life together. We begin to lessen our indifference to others' suffering and we learn to notice and care about people that aren't necessarily "ours" (our children, our parents, our friends).
Today I was reminded again of the importance of my own lovingkindness practice... And next time I see someone who might be in need, may I be mindful enough to to notice, stop, and see if they need help.